Stephen Stevie Franchesco Haston (1955- )
Raging Bull

Louder than a Trinity Lighthouse foghorn, as opinionated as a pissed Jeremy Clarkson, and more irritable than Julie Birchall with a period, it is quite amazing how Stevie was missed all these years.

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Aside from his Road-to-Damascus-style conversion to the world of hype, his climbing record really does speak louder than his words, incredible though this may seem. Leading extremes, Scottish V and alpine TD by his teens, the half-Malteser (mum from Valetta) was soon doing impressive stuff like the second winter ascent of Eiger North Face, on-sighting E6 6b on South Stack, Grade VII ice routes, first free solo of the Walker Spur, soloing hard extremes in Wales and Grand Courses in the Alps and putting up E7s. Phew – his CV begins to reads like an Ed Drummond» stream of consciousness. But then he went and spoilt it all by buggering up his tendons overdoing obsessive training, and his prodigious energy faltered during the late ’80s (in Haston terms ‘faltered’ means being one of the first Brits to on-sight F7c). Renaissance occurred in 1990 on a trip to Shivling where he met his future wife and climbing partner, the long-suffering Patagonia saleswoman and ace climber Laurence Goualt. A move to enemy territory in Chamonix followed where Haston announced his return to battle in no uncertain terms, on sighting F8a, red-pointing F8c, making first ascents of VII (allegedly Scottish IX) ice-falls, free-soloing the Walker Spur in winter in eight hours – and pissing off the locals and French climbing press in the process. In 1996 Stevie set out to conquer America, introducing himself to the startled Yanks by pissing up yet another ‘Hardest ice route in the world’, Jeff Lowe’s much photographed Octopussy (M8), followed by Will Gadd’s Amphibian (M9) in ’97.

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Also known as: ‘La Vache Folle’ (The Mad Cow) in France, because he is ‘an unwanted import’. Cheeky blighters.
What they said: ‘An authentic individual in a false set-up.’ Jim Perrin
‘He has got an attitude problem.’ Association of British Mountain Guides
‘A noisy little mix of genius and imbecile, hero and twat.’ Perrin again.
‘The crux for Stevie is in the smiling.’ Will Gadd
‘I can’t love you because you are crazy.’ Ex-wife

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